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hello from sunny cornwall

This is a short version I keep thinking of a lenghty explanation but I find when I start to write a full story I get anoyed with my self and delete it as I feel a total idiot.

 I am originaly from the north of England a large town called Bolton. Ihad led a tough childhood and teens but that was not unusuall I left school in 1971 and work was hard to find but by 79 I had a sready job and was thinking of my future as to work education etc.Then one Sunday afternoon when I had a monumental hangover knock knock on the door. Yes you have guesed it a witness was there the only reason I did not offer my usuall short reply to any religious person was the hangover and the fresh air was nice so I listened then I always say my brain switched of. Then study baptism etc and I then moved to another congregation to help out and get away from home (another story and bad advice from an elder) I met my wife amd we married and had a daughter. then my brain started to work again and I thought I got to get out of hear.

Like a lot of people I found that my life was tied up with being a witness I had a daughter and didn't want to her be the rope in a tug of war between me and the wife. So I put my head down and kept my mouth shut. I thought a couple of years and I would drift of and I would try to protect my daugher. In some areas it worked in others it did'nt. The finall proof that this was not the truth was that while in my head and heart I didn't believe in the bible god or anything I was apointed a ms and then a elder when that happened I laughed all the way to the pub.

I wanted to keep my family together so I still said nothing my daughter got baptized I started to think that I needed to make escape plans but a short while latter it was just to please her mum and to keep a friend. So I stayed a little longer. I told my daughter she could read the evil Harry Potter books her face lit up and told me she allready had a copy hidden in her bed room. I then delayed my escape again as I thought she would need my help on the inside. The run to theSwiss border was again delayed. My work was tied up with a fellow wittness and a super spiritual elder and congregation policeman and total pilock and hypocrit (again another story for another time)   

 I got the oportunity to move to Cornwall my wife always wanted to move to the sea so she thinks it is a reward from the man in the sky me it is away out so we moved and I got  fairley decent paying job. I thought that when daughter leaves school I would try to get her into further education I would make my escape and ther would be no stopping me. The elders were slack at sheparding etc so a slow drift away was planned and executed. It is about 6 years since I was last inside the kingdom hall wife is still a zealous pioneer (sadly I think of her as a lost cause) My daughter lives her own life and we a are very good friends. This is the weepy bit now were I srart to cry in my beer. It has left her with emotional problems and I feel very guilty about. She siad she doesn't blame me but I do I was made redundant a few years ago and although I got more work it is low paid and my wife wil only work part time so she can pioneer big arguments have been sparked but there is no way she will change.

I have got involved in the local amature dramatic society. I stage manage plays and help build the sets I have made a couple of very short aperances on stage I even got to snog one of the girls on stage but don't tell the wife she thinks It was a peck on the cheeck. Ther are photos on the internet but as she is totaty computer iliterate she wont see them.

Our marrage as suffered we are more like flat mates than man and wife but as long as I pay the rent and she can still knock on doors she is not bothered. If anyone reading this is still in the wt organisation or is wavering please take this as a warning It is poisen stay out It breads narow minded people some may be god people many of them are the organisation is not good the leaders are narrow minded and try to controle the life of it's members. I apologise for the spelling and grmatical errors if I don't submit this now I will start to rewrite it and then delete it yet again    

Hey Barfly, i'd have a beer with ya.  Don't feel bad about feeling like an idiot.  The WT org. does that to you.  It's all a big mind trip.  And from a daughter, don't feel bad.  If you and your daughter are what you would call 'very good friends' than I would say you are a success.  Despite the mind-fuck you had to go through to get there.  My Dad and I may never talk again...  So cheer up and find your voice!  It sounds like you've got a great story.  YouTube is a hell of a lot of fun as an X JW.

peace,

Laura

Thanks slavegirl if you are ever in Cornwall the beer is on me. I did have some fun whikle an elder like going to the odd remote cotage to save others the long walk and ending up in a pub.  

Thanks for posting. when I was appointed an elder I knew there was no spririt direction - felt a fraud, but tried to do good.