Hey fellow ex-j-dubs. It's nice to know there's a growing online community like this I can be a part of. Honestly, this site almost feels like a haven. We share a spirit of fellowship that is unique. So I'd like start of by thanking the creators of this website. Merci.
So here it goes; a concentrated version of my story... (by the way, I tend to write in a poetic fashion. Just because I enjoy it)
Born and raised a witness. Second youngest of eight children. Poor family. Rural out port community.
I can honestly say that if I were given the choice between re-living my life up to present, or never existing, I would choose the later. Ever since I've been self aware, I've had this looming cloud of sadness following me. Nevertheless, believe it or not I would consider myself an optimist. Because today; I am closer to happiness than any other day. I've already broken free from the shackles of mind-control, and I've reveled in the truth that is reality. I'm no longer living as someone who I despise. Yet, the challenge to become a person I love, that remains...
23 years old. Depressed. Confused and frustrated. Read Dawkin's the God delusion. Enlightened. Freedom.
The last meeting I attended was last spring. It was the memorial. As I sat in the front row (because of lateness), I had an unwavering smirk on my face. For years, I was lost to the answer of the ultimate question; does God actually exist? I thought there was no way to know for sure, and felt a relfex of guilt whenever I searched for answers. Until one day, enough was enough. I consumed whatever information I could grasp. Meditating and growing day and night. Emerging as an atheist in complete confidence.
24 years old. Alone, more-so. Frustrated. Struggling to find my place in this world.
In a nutshell, as much as I convince myself everyday that I'm an intelligent, attractive, funny, friendly person, my self confidence and esteem are as inconsistent as the weather.
So I'm looking for some advice on how to overcome the bad social habits one typically creates while they're a JW. Now this post is a bit low on real details, but it will have to do for now.