OK I haven't really been wanting to tell my story, first because I'm a "drifter" or whatever the hell you call it, let's lose the labels but I'm not DF or DA my family knows I don't go to the meetings and sort of know I maybe don't believe or not but no specifics, been avoiding conflict. Oh and let me say that I don't appreciate exJW's telling me that this is not good...that I must DF or DA myself. That is a trait of exJWs i don't like, the need to tell other people what to do and control other people.
I just got done reading Confessions of a Teenage Jesus Jerk. It was reccomended to me by someone on this site. It's good, just a first person story kind of a "coming of age" story except JW style.
Reading it really made me realized I am screwed up and the way we were raised is screwed up (if you were raised in witness family with elder dad like me and author of this book.) Of course I already knew those two things but it kind of touched me. I just put a lot of pressure on myself to me normal, hell to be perfect. I want so badly for "worldly" people to understand how I grew up, how screwed up it is, why I am the way I am, even to feel sorry for me. Of course this isn't going to happen.
I don't really know what else to say without getting into explicit details of my life or how I left which I don't want to do.
Basically I'm a recovering exJW about 2 years in the process, leading a pretty good life but with some JW ghosts in the closet keeping me from happiness.