Im a Grandma of 6 and live in Colorado and some times I think Im the only one in the whole state who ever even tried to leave the JWs. I was raised from the age of 5 in the Orig. and I was dipped in water at the age of 13 along with several of my friends the same age. I remember doing it because my friends were doing it. It was the thing to do at the time. And at age 18 I quit going to meetings and out in service. I figured I only had a few years left since this was 1968 and 75 was just around the corner. I was married at age 20 non JW and I did ok for a couple years till I had my first child and then the guilt set in "I was destroying my child" and that is how I felt . So I started to go again not the same town but I had to go before some elders and such and so on an so forth . I started to attend and it was a little ruff because my husband did not believe but he did study some with one of the brothers. Then we moved and I got pregnant again all about the same time I had missed a few meeting but soon started at my new KH. all was fine for a while except my husband really did not care about the JWs at all. And then one day the news hit about Jim Jones and his cult drinking all the Kool aid and my Husband looked at me and said "I dont care what you believe or do as far as your church goes but if you ever think of hurting one of my girls I will kill you" And I stood there trying to tell him we were not a cult the Jim Jones thing was not like us we were not a CULT and about a hour later I realized that to everyone on the outside WE WERE A CULT and I was stunned and shocked that we were a cult. And I never attended again. But I was never disfellowshipped, disassociated or any thing just quit. The lady who had called on me and got me to going to the meetings when we moved died soon after and I think they forgot about me. But that did not get rid of the guilt feeling it was not 1975 and the end had to be here any day now. Any way I for some reason decided I was not going to deny my 2 daughters , Christmas, Easter, Birthdays 4th of July and have them looked at because they did not do the pledge at school, or sports in school or Prom or any of the stuff that is the right of passage for a child or teen. So I walked around feeling guilty most of my life for about 15 years and then the internet came about and I found out I was NOT ALONE. There were lots of us out there.